


Silence his storm

by fantaxys



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec Lightwood Deserves Nice Things, Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff and Angst, Guilt, How Do I Tag, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Sorry, M/M, Magnus Bane's Cat Eyes, Nightmares, Post-Episode: s03e10 Erchomai, Protective Magnus Bane
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-14 14:47:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29297613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fantaxys/pseuds/fantaxys
Summary: "Jace?" He tried to scream, but it felt like his head was underwater, filling his lungs with anything but air. He couldn't do a thing apart from looking at the two lifeless bodies."Magnus!"OrAlec blames himself for Magnus losing his magic and the fact that he couldn't save Jace from the owl; he has a nightmare.
Relationships: Magnus Bane & Alec Lightwood, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Comments: 1
Kudos: 64





	Silence his storm

**Author's Note:**

> I always feel like they kinda skipped the fact that Alec literally almost died in 3x10, so I wrote this mildly angsty, yet fluffy fic. I hope you enjoy!

_The intense pain shot straight through Alec's body as he opened his eyes. He was in the Institute's infirmary, again. Looking down to his body, he saw the bandages around his chest, perfectly white, as if there was no wound underneath them._

_"You gave me quite the scare, Alexander."_

_Magnus's familiar voice sounded soothing and soft, but when Alec looked at him, the man had fury in his eyes._

_He was sitting on a uncomfortable looking chair, his hair flat on his head. His hands were red, stained with blood. The room was dark and cold. Shadows taking place from the light._

_"Magnus?" His throat felt dry and his voice was hoarse._

_After not receiving an answer, there was Jace, his Parabatai, coming from behind Magnus's chair. He had a bruised eye, swollen jaw and blood running from his mouth._

_"You couldn't save me Alec."_

_Alec tried to stand up from the bed he was laying on, but the pain was too much._

_Magnus stood up next to Jace._

_"He fixed me. He gave up everything. But for what? You're worthless, Alec." Jace said, with every word, another drip of blood falling from his mouth._

_"Such a disappointment,"_

_Alec looked down at his own wound again, seeing his bandages had turned red, soaked with blood. Even his hand was nowcovered, but how?_

_When he focused his gaze on Magnus and Jace, he saw them laying on the floor. Dead._

_"Jace?" He tried to scream, but it felt like his head was underwater, filling his lungs with anything but air. He couldn't do a thing apart from looking at the two lifeless bodies._

"Magnus!"

Sweat broke out of Alec's forehead, his hands clasping at the sheets underneath him.

"Alec? Alec wake up," Magnus had been pulled from his sleep by the calling of his name. His eyes met a trembling body, covered in sweat.

"Wake up darling, you're okay," He wiped the hair on Alec's face to the side as Alec's eyes flew open and he shot straight up. Magnus instinctively snapped his fingers to summon a wet towel and a glass of water, but nothing appeared. It was a thing that would take a while to get used to.

Alec's gaze swept through the dark room, trying to figure out where he was. That was when he feeled a hand on his shoulder, the soft touch of the one he loved. He grabbed the hand, making sure he wasn't dreaming.

"Magnus?" Alec finally got to his senses as the nightmare had gotten to its end, for now.

"I'm right here, Alexander. You're safe," He moved his hand up to his cheek and caressed it gently.

"It was just a dream, you're okay." With his free hand, he turned on the light on the bedside table. A tear rolled down Alec's face as Magnus whispered reassuring words to calm him down.

Alec closed his eyes and leaned into Magnus's touch. "I'm so sorry," he said, still shaking from adrenaline.

"It's okay, I'm here with you. Everything will be okay. Just breathe."

Alec stayed silent for a little while. Were they going to be okay? The Jace in his dream was right. He had failed.

He had failed getting his Parabatai back, twice. It was his fault Magnus lost his magic. He was the one to blame for the scar on his chest, which was still not fully healed...The list could go on and on.

"I'm so sorry," He repeated his words. Not just feeling sorry for waking Magnus, but for everything around it.

"Don't be, you can't control your sleep."

"It's not that, Magnus."  _It's that I don't deserve you_ ,  he thought.

Magnus gave him a slightly confused look, but he didn't want to make Alec feel uncomfortable so he just smiled and asked, "Then what is, love?"

But the smile didn't work the way he'd hoped it would. He squeezed Alec's shoulder and caressed his cheek with the other hand.

Alec tried to focus on the touch. To keep him away from colliding into Magnus's arms. He felt so weak it almost embarrassed him.

"It's all my fault. That you lost your powers. That Jace wasn't in time to save Clary. He won't even look at me anymore. I just-" His voice gave in to all the emotions he had been building up since  that  night.

From the moment his own arrow had touched his flesh by Jace's hand, his life had been a living hell. Before that, he still had hope. But everything seemed to be falling apart when he'd seen his Parabatai and boyfriend, kneeling over his almost dead body.

He wanted to talk about it with Magnus, but seeing him struggling with his own problems, the fact that he lost his powers, a part of his identity... Alec could never burden him with his problems too.

And then there was Jace, his other half, his brother, who now felt so far away. Every time they entered the same room, Jace acted weird, as if they were complete strangers.

"I just don't know what to do," And with that, Alec couldn't help but pour his heart out as he sobbed in Magnus's arms.

"Oh Alexander..."

Alec clung onto his boyfriend, not caring about how childish he would look right now.

And for Magnus, this was one of the most heartbreaking moments of his very long life. He felt the same when he'd seen Alec lying on the concrete floor, speared with his own arrow.

It was rare for Alec to share his emotions, especially in a situation like this. All his life, he'd been very careful with the feelings he felt. The only ones knowing his deepest secrets were Jace and Isabelle, but even they didn't know about a lot- a lot of things.

It had been a bumpy ride for Magnus to let Alec feel like he could trust him. And now, after all these months of being together, they shared everything.

"Nobody blames you, not me, not Jace, noy anyone. If it wasn't for you, we would've never gotten Jace back."

"But it was you who freed him from the Owl, while I was..." Alec brought his hand to his own chest, feeling the scar underneath his fingertips. "It cost you your magic."

"And if I got the chance, I'd do it again. I can live without my magic, but I could never live without you, seeing you in pain every day, because of the loss of your Parabatai. You're happiness is the only thing that matters to me,"

Alec was now settled between Magnus's legs, his face still burried in the caramel colored chest. His breathing calmed again when he felt a hand softly stroking his hair.

"And I shouldn't be the one telling you this, but Jace is ashamed of himself. He feels so bad for injuring you.. That's the reason why he's been avoiding you. He really wants to talk, but doesn't know how."

Alec slowly lifted his head up from Magnus's chest, locking his eyes with the cat-like ones. Magnus knew how much Alec loved his true eyes, and he would do anything to comfort his boyfriend.

"So you're not disappointed in me?" Alec whispered quietly, remembering what the Magnus in his dreams had said.

"Not even a little. You're the strongest person I know. I love you Alexander, don't forget that."

Alec let out a sigh, feeling the tension slipping away. "I know, I love you too."

They both leaned back into their bed, Alec resting his head on Magnus's chest again. With their fingers interlocked, they fell into a peaceful sleep, both content with eachother's presence. And for now, that was enough.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Please let me know your thoughts and criticism :)


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